Impossible

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: Hey bitch / bastard.. which one is you?

You: / bastard

Stranger: well done to you bastard haha

Stranger: fuck off now

Stranger: son of the bitch

You: it's son of a bitch.

You: you're doin' it wrong

Stranger: it is son of the bitch cos i know your mom

Stranger: last night we had sex..

Stranger: it was cool ;)

You: necrophilia much?

Stranger: so your mum is a bitch.. but i can definite it as "the bitch"

Stranger: ;)

Stranger: fuck u stupid..

Stranger: cawww!

You: conversation will be fuckin saved!

Stranger: haha do i care?

Stranger: haha..

Stranger: you know who i'm ?

You: nope, but you'll be anonymously famous

Stranger: you know my personal informations?

You: i'mma write a book

Stranger: ha ha.. I'm already famous you fucking bastard

Stranger: ;)

You: good for you.

Stranger: yup.. ;) well done to you..

Stranger: where does this bastard come from?

You: this one is from the us.

Stranger: oh, okay american bastard..

You: yeah.

You: what about yourself?

Stranger: Come from universe..

Stranger: just a homosaphiens..

Stranger: no gender

You: gender is a construct

Stranger: angels do not have a gender ;)

You: sex refers to anatomy, gender to masculinity or femininity

Stranger: who talked that I am a human?

You: this bastard is really hung up on semantics

Stranger: well I see this bastard is trying to be smart..

Stranger: but he is a bastard.. you know..

Stranger: good wine needs no bush

You: there is no "trying"

You: what the hell kind of expression is that?

Stranger: peh!.. so there is what?

You: i'm not trying to be smart, i simply am

Stranger: well you stranger.. if someone is not "smart".. they can seem smart however they are not..

Stranger: ehh?

Stranger: Hehe.. well.. there is a quote.. you know.. umm

Stranger: I couldn't remember now..

You: there's a shock

Stranger: maybe; all his geese are swans

Stranger: hehe.. that's why you think yourself smart?

Stranger: ehh smart-ass

Stranger: ??

You: Sense: This conversation no longer makes any...

Stranger: peh!..

Stranger: do i care?

You: clearly you don't

Stranger: yea.. you got it.. ;)

Stranger: I'm just making a fun of a bastard...

You: and i'm just marking the point at which i was no longer able to comprehend anything going on in this conversation

Stranger: Stranger.. c'mon dude..

You: and am now marking the point at which i grew surprised that neither of us disconnected yet.

You: not that i'm complaining

You: comprehension aside, this conversation is amusing

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This devolved into a complete butchery of the English language. I'll admit that I don't use as much capitalization and punctuation as I should, but at the very least what I write makes sense. This particular "Stranger" was completely incomprehensible.

A Long wait.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

You: how are you?

You: Stranger: I'm good, you?

You: I'm fine, thanks for asking.
So, what do you want to talk about?

You: Stranger: idk, whatever.

You: Okay, so... what kind of music do you like?

You have disconnected.

After waiting about 5 minutes for "Stranger" to show up, I took matters into my own hands.

I knew what she meant.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: check it gee!

Stranger: ya

Stranger: baby fk me

You: Falkland Islands?
Funky Kong?
Foreign key?

Stranger: ya

You: all of the above? ;)

Stranger: 3rd one

You have disconnected.

But, I really wasn't interested. More proof that gay guys are magnets for desperate women on Omegle.

A long day.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: hello

You: what's up?

Stranger: asl?

You:
asu\elam\12

Stranger: elam?

Stranger: is that a boy or girl?

You: the question pisses me off, so i'm trying new ways to answer it.
it's "male" spel't backwards

Stranger: how creative

Stranger: so your 21

Stranger: not 12 lol

You: yeah.

You: very astute of you

Stranger: thanks

You: so...
what now?

Stranger: this

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: he

Stranger: y

You: what's u

You: p

Stranger: m

Stranger: e

Stranger: a

Stranger: as

Stranger: l

Stranger: ?

You: huszonegy/hím/Amerikai Egyesült Államok

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Sometimes you get tired of people asking you "asl", so you decide to have some fun with the answer. That's what I did here.

Is this it?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: hi

You: how are you?

Stranger: fine thanks and u/

Stranger: ?

You: i'm pretty good, too

Stranger: from?

You: the us. you?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Has it gotten to the point that merely being from the US is enough to make people want to stop talking to you? I'm not sure that this reputation is entirely deserved; surely they could take a little time to talk first and find out firsthand whether or not I'm a generic American ass.

Sucks for them.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: M or f

You: M

Stranger: Cool I'm a f want to talk dirty

You: not really.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

In so many ways. I can't figure why every desperate horny woman on Omegle winds up talking to me.

4chan?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: Sup n****rL

You: not much, just stayin' fly.
or... something

Stranger: I hav a hairy vagina

You: i'm gay so i really don't give a shit

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

God. People on the internet are a particular breed of stupid.

Just plain strange

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: are you pregnant

You: no

Stranger: i hav coke wanna some

You: this has gotten strange...
more than i'm used to, even.

You have disconnected.

what is this i dont even

Everyone is Bi?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: wanna cybersex

Stranger: ima guy

You: so am i

Stranger: doesnt matter

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm not sure why this person disconnected if it didn't matter. It could have been the minute or so I sat there in stunned silence.

Of Zombies and Mexico

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: Hey there

You: how are you?

Stranger: where you from

You: the us. you?

Stranger: good and yourself?

Stranger: Mexico

You: i'm good, too.

Stranger: So wazup?

Stranger: OMG

You: not much, you?

Stranger: I hear something horrible out there...

Stranger: like a moaning...

Stranger: ZOMBIES

You: quick! Grab a shotgun!

Stranger: FUCK, I SEE ONE OUTSIDE THE WINDOW

Stranger: DAMN...

Stranger: THEYRE INSIDE!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Yeah. The inevitable "zombie" post. It didn't take too long for me to find this person, either.

Korean... rape? o_O

You: hello
Stranger: korean rape?
You: what?
Stranger: u like rape?
You: not really.
why?
Stranger: rape roleplay sexy
Stranger: very hot
You: riiiiight...
You have disconnected.

This one was just weird. Clearly, Rule 34 is alive and well.

Get cool?

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: asl
You: 21/m/us
Stranger: 19 f
Stranger: japan
You: so, what do you want to talk about?
Stranger: wanna get cool
You: get cool?
Stranger: ya
Stranger: why
You: i'm not sure i know what that means
Stranger: ok
Stranger: listen
Stranger: i want to be happy
Stranger: got it?
You: i think so.
what does that mean I'm supposed to do, though?
Stranger: although you are extreamly fuck, i want to tell you a bit

This is the first conversation I copy/pasted. I still don't really know what "get cool" means. In the off chance that someone reading this has a clue, please tell me.

My first post.

I might as well explain myself here. I find Omegle incredibly amusing, often more so when the person on the other end is making little to no sense. That's why I've been saving the conversation logs of my more eventful encounters since the end of June. I figure I shouldn't be the only person enjoying this glimpse into the human psyche.
Who am I kidding? It's a chance to get a laugh (hopefully) or a bemused eyebrow raise (most likely) from the weird shit people say there. So enjoy.